Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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