Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just threw up on my dentist
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Randomize
