I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He kissed a someone with a penis
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
