Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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