so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
