It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
false alarm, still single
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
