I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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