Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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