i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
