mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
