it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize