I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is it penis luge time yet?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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