It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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