You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
