You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
