Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
