If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
