you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
