we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
