I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
