Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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