margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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