I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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