He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
