we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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