New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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