They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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