Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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