So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
