Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize