i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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