Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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