6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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