Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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