And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The feeling are messing with the penis
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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