haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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