Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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