haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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