this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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