i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
