im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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