was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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