And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you didnt know i had herpes?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
