its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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