Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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