Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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