she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
