I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
