hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
