i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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