Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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