The maid of honor just puked.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
