okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
