I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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