How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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