I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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